The Women's Support Service is here to help

  
Knowing what to do when the person you love is violent or abusive can be very confusing and frightening.
  

How an abuser can discover your internet activities
Please take a few minutes to read the warning below and to take steps to increase your safety when using the internet and TRYangle's website.
E-mail:

If an abuser has access to your email account, they may be able to read your incoming and outgoing mail. If you believe your account is secure, make sure you choose a password that an abuser will not be able to guess.

If an abuser sends you threatening or harassing e-mail messages, they may be printed and saved as evidence of this abuse. The messages may constitute an offence.
History/cache file:

If an abuser knows how to read your computer's history or cache file (automatically saved web pages and graphics), they may be able to see information you have viewed recently on the internet.

You can clear your history or empty your cache file in your browser's settings.
  1. Internet Explorer: Pull down View menu (in the row at the top of the browser), select Internet Options. You should now be on a tab that says 'General'- if not, select 'General'. Under the title 'Temporary Internet Files' , click on 'Delete Files'. You can also check the box that says delete all offline content. Then under History, click on 'Clear History.' Then click OK at the bottom. If you do not find these options under the View Menu, they can be found under the Tools Menu.
  2. Mozilla Firefox: Pull down Tools menu and choose 'Clear Recent History', then choose the amount of History you want to clear (hours, today or all). For future browsing, you can use the 'Start Private Browsing' option from the Tools menu and your history will not be saved until you choose to end private browsing, or close the browser.
  3. Netscape: Pull down Edit menu, select Preferences. Click on Navigator (this may be a tab at the top or an option in a list on the left). Click on 'Clear History'. Then click on Advanced (this may be a tab or an option in a list on the left. If it's in a list, click on the + sign). Then select 'Cache'. Click on "Clear Disk Cache".
  4. On older versions of Netscape: Pull down 'Options' menu. Select Network Options, Select Cache. Click on "Clear Disk Cache".
  5. AOL: Pull down Members menu, select Preferences. Click on WWW icon. Then select Advanced. Purge Cache.
 

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This information may not completely hide your tracks. Many browser types have features that display recently visited sites. The safest way to find information on the internet, would be at a local library, a friend's house, or at work.

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What kind of help can I get?
We are not here to tell you what you should do.  Only you can decide what is right for you.  Some women choose to stay with their partner,  some choose to leave and some have already left.  There is no right or wrong way as everyone's situation is different.  We want to help you find out what is best for you right now, so that you can take control of your own life and make the best decisions for yourself.  
Safety planning
We want you to be as safe as you can whatever your decision about your relationship. You won’t be able to stop his violence or abuse to you. Only he can do that. However, there may be things you can do to increase your own safety. Our workers will help you to work out some strategies.
Emotional support
Experiencing violence and abuse from the person you love can have a tremendous impact on your physical, emotional and mental health. The effects of this can stay with you for a long time. The W.S.S. can help you explore your feelings, understand how your experiences have affected you and continue to affect you, focus on yourself, your own needs and regain control of your life.
General information
We have a whole range of information on legal housing matters, children’s issues and lots of other services that may be of use to you.

Information about the work TRYangle does with men
TRYangle offers a Violence Intervention Programme for men who have been violent and abusive towards a partner or ex-partner. We offer complete openness to women about the work we do on this programme. We always put women’s safety at the centre of all the work we do.
How do I get this help?
We offer a whole range of support services for you, including:
Telephone support
You can phone us when you want to talk about things, and sometimes we might ring you to see how you are.
One-to-one sessions

You can book an individual one-to-one session with our workers if you need one.
Information sessions
The Women’s Support Service will offer information sessions for female clients who may wish to find out more about our services, domestic violence & its effects or the Men’s Intervention Programme.
What about confidentiality?
Your partner or ex-partner will never be told whether or not we are in contact with you, or about anything you discuss with us.
If he comes to the Violence Intervention Programme, will he change?
You are the best judge of whether he is changing or not - trust your own feelings.

Some of the things we look for are:

  • Has he stopped saying or doing things that frighten you?

  • Can you express your anger towards him without being punished for it?

  • Does he respect your wishes about sex and physical contact?

  • Can you spend time with friends without him punishing you for it?

  • Are you comfortable about the way he interacts with the children?

  • Can he argue without being abusive or domineering?

  • Can you wear what you like?

  • Does he do his share of the housework and child care?

Some signs he is not changing:

  • Is he still being violent or abusive?

  • Does he pressure you to go into counselling?

  • Does he try to get you or the children to feel sorry for him?

  • Does he expect something in return from you for the fact that he is attending the programme?

  • Is he pointing out to you how your behaviour is abusive ?

  • Does he use material he gets on the programme against you?
Feedback
These are some quotes from past clients that we have recently made contact with.

"Our relationship is much more positive and equal. I'm very grateful to Tryangle for making him realise how things were. Thank you."

"He has been more lovely and caring in our relationship."

"We are stronger as a couple and trust has been restored. Thankyou for all your help, you do a fantastic job."

"He has not been violent at all since he has been going to the men’s group. He seems to understand now, that if it happened again, it would be over."

"I have received an immense amount of support and encouragement from the project."

"I still attend the Tryangle Project which I still benefit from greatly even after most of my problems have been sorted. Thank you so much! You have put my life back on track."

"I am much happier (so is he) I am very grateful to the Tryangle Project as without it I don’t know how I would have managed. We are leading an almost normal, happy life."

"Tryangle men’s group has made my husband the man I fell in love with."
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